I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize