mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Boobs are out for the taking
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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