4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
FUCK WHALES
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