can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
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a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
either way he was missing a nipple.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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