Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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