i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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