I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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