We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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