therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I need moral support for this bender
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize