You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Dicks are not precious.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize