that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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