i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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