My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
When are your genitals available?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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