dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
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i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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