So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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