If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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