let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
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