I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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