I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
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