I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize