Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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