I'm going to jail i love you
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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