Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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