gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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