i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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