If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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