how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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