i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
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We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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