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watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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