what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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