white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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