also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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