No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize