You made me cry and you don't even care
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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