I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
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Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize