Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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