i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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