my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
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He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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