nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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