if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My vagina is very pro this idea
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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