My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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