maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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