So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize