Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize