Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize