We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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