was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize