one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
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On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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