I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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