Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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