then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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