I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize